Events

Child Abuse Prevention Month

3b. Child Abuse Prevention Month FBXRecognizing Boundary Violations and Warning Signs

At the Y, creating safe spaces for youth to learn, grow and thrive is our top priority. Kids need a safe space now more than ever, and we take pride in the measures we’ve taken to help keep your kids safe. Here are some important tips for parents to know as we work together to keep kids safe from abuse.

Offenders seek three things in order to abuse: access, privacy and control. What does this mean for a parent?

  • Know who has access to your children. For example,
    1. When your children are at school, what are the school’s procedures for screening staff, volunteers, parents, etc.?
    2. When your children attend a sleepover, who will be in the home?
  • Know what type of privacy is allowed. For example,
    1. When your children play sports, can the coach be alone with a player?
    2. When camp is over, can the counselor text your child?
    3. When the program ends, is one adult ever alone with one child?
  • Know how offenders gain control through boundary violations. For example,
    1. Physical boundaries violations – Excessive tickling, hugging, massaging, etc.
    2. Emotional boundaries violations – Spending too much time with them; acting possessive; sharing personal information to make a child feel they have a special relationship, sending excessive or inappropriate texts or messages
    3. Behavioral boundaries – Offenders manipulate kids into doing things they wouldn’t otherwise do, such as: – Sneaking around – Keeping secrets – Looking at pornography – Use of drugs or alcohol

Talking with Your Children About Abuse

Many parents and caregivers find speaking to their children about abuse to be uncomfortable. Framing these conversations around other safety conversations you have may help you work through some of that uncomfortableness. Below you’ll find age-appropriate ways to talk to your child about boundaries and preventing abuse.

Young Children

Parents can start these conversations simply by ensuring young children know the correct names for their body parts. Children who know the proper names are able to talk more clearly to parents or other adults if something inappropriate happens. As you’re teaching body part names, you can help your child learn that parts of their body are private and that only their parents/caregivers can see them. Don’t forget to note that doctors may see them naked but only because you’re there with the doctor!

Equally important is to teach children boundaries both for themselves and for others. Boundaries have easily teachable moments, such as when a child doesn’t want to hug a relative, or during a tickle fight a child yells “Stop.” Allowing young children to set their own boundaries teaches them body autonomy and helps them know when something makes them uncomfortable so that they can speak up.

Many abusers will tell a child to keep abuse a secret. It’s important that children understand that adults should never ask them to keep a secret, and if they do, they should tell you.

Teens

As children grow older, it’s key to keep lines of conversation open, so that they feel comfortable talking to parents or trusted adults if something happens to them or a friend. Talk to your teens about their friends, the other adults in their lives, social media and electronic communication. They need to know to not accept requests from people they don’t know, how to respond if someone (even a friend) asks them to send nude photos and that conversations online are never truly private. Continue the conversations about boundaries and what boundary violations look and feel like. Let them know that you are there to listen and support them.

Listening and Responding to Children

Throughout April, we’ve addressed the importance of understanding the Y’s abuse prevention policies, recognizing red flags and boundary violations and how to talk with your children about abuse. Now, it’s important that all parents and caregivers know how to respond to boundary violations and warning signs if children tell you about abuse. At the Y, we are mandated reporters, so we have procedures in place for responding and reporting suspected abuse. As a parent, you can follow these 5 steps:

  1. Keep your eyes & ears open
  2. Talk with your child
  3. Ask your child about any concerns you have.
  4. If what you learn from your child or what you have observed/overheard sounds like abuse, call Child Protective Services or the police.
  5. If what you’ve heard or observed sounds like a boundary violation, suspicious or inappropriate behavior, or a policy violation:
  6. Share your concerns with the employee/supervisor/person in charge of the organization.
  7. If you are unable to do this, make a report to the organization by making a call, sending an email, or submitting an online form.

Join Five Days of Action to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse, April 21-25

Five Days of Action Email HeaderApril is Child Abuse Prevention Month

As part of our commitment to protecting the children in our community, we’re participating in the Five Days of Action® – a week-long campaign to increase awareness of child sexual abuse and empower and equip us all to prevent it. By taking part in this important campaign and implementing abuse prevention practices year-round, the Central Connecticut Coast YMCA is committing to the safety of all children in our community.

The Know. See. Respond. campaign is back this year, and Praesidium, Saprea, and Lauren’s Kids have shared resources to support this campaign.

Know

When evaluating camps, sports, and other activities for your child, do you KNOW what questions to ask about abuse prevention? As parents, caregivers, and trusted adults, we play a vital role in protecting children and teens from abuse. Learn the key questions to ask from Praesidium, the YMCA’s partner in child abuse prevention: praesidiuminc.com/6-key-questions-a-parent-should-ask-of-an-organization.

See

When we SEE grooming patterns—methodical, subtle, gradual, and escalating behaviors used to groom a child for sexual abuse—we can identify them, strengthen our intuition, and protect children. Learn the 6 grooming behaviors every parent or caregiver needs to know and what to do if you see them, from our partner, Saprea: saprea.org/blog/6-perpetrator-grooming-behaviors.

Respond

RESPONDing starts when a child or teen feels heard and is helped. How can you take action to prevent child sexual abuse? The Trusted Triangle (for younger children) and the Safety NETwork (for older youth) are strategies from Lauren’s Kids Safer, Smarter Families Family Safety Toolkit. These resources are designed to help families and caregivers teach personal and digital safety in a comfortable and accessible way.

Grades K-2: safersmarterfamilies.org/grades-k-2

Grades 3-5: safersmarterfamilies.org/grades-3-5

We take our commitment to child protection seriously and we hope you do too.